Category Archives: Uncategorized

Date: June 6th, 1222 S.A.My Mood Is: determined Things are moving along very well on Project Humongous Tower. A great deal of the project to-date has had to do with infrastructure — recruiting and kidnapping Orcs and Men as laborers; building towns and cities to house them; creating farms and granaries to feed them, and aqueductsContinue reading “#69: These Númenóreans Is Getting All Up in My Biznatch”

Date: November 16th, 998 S.A.My Mood Is: exhausted Hey everybody. Sorry I haven’t blogged in so long, but it’s been a busy five centuries. Last time I wrote, I had just discovered Mordor and decided it would make a great secret base. Also, I had made friends with Celebrimbor, chief of the Gwaith-i-Mírdain and grandson of Fëanor.Continue reading “#68: It’s Been a Busy Five Centuries”

Date: July 12th, 701 S.A.My Mood Is: full of camaraderie I don’t usually make friends, because it always turns out badly. My first friend ever, back in the Timeless Halls of Eru Ilúvatar, was Huan, that total idiot who betrayed me to the Valar traitors. Then there was Melkor, whose was like a best friend, big brother, andContinue reading “#67: Meet My New Best Friend, Celebrimbor”

Date: January 1, 701 S.A.My Mood Is: ecstatic Happy New Year and New Century! The Men of Middle Earth count the current “Second Age” calendar from the Sinking of Beleriand by the faithless and lunatic Valar. Most Men never saw nor heard of Beleriand of course, but they did notice the massive earthquakes and weather disruptions whenContinue reading “#66: It’s a Fixer-Upper, But I Think I’ll Take It”

Date: December 12, 578 S.A.My Mood Is: delighted Now this is more like it! After my dismal experience trying to ingratiate myself to the Elves of Eriador, especially the loathsome Galadriel and the hapless Gil-Galad, I decided to try my luck to the East. If you head that way, as the vampire flies, from Lindon, you cross the Ered Luin, the Hithaeglir, Cheerywood the Great, and Rhovanion.Continue reading “#65: Now THIS Is More Like It!”

Date: June 25, 501 S.A.My Mood Is: aggravated Un-be-LIEV-able! After dealing with Galadriel and her brain-donor husband, I knew I had to get to Lindon quick before they could send word to this Artanáro, High King of the Noldor. So I forgot about walking, and just transfigured myself into a vampire and flew the roughly 300Continue reading “#64: Gil-Galad Was an Elven-king / Who Didn’t Know a Freakin’ Thing”

Date: June 23, 501 S.A.My Mood Is: resilient Well, my new adventures as Annatar, Lord of Gifts haven’t gotten off to the promising start I was hoping for when I invented the “new me.” But I can’t give up — the road goes ever on and on. Hey, that might make a good song. I took onContinue reading “#63: Hey Galadriel — See You Next Tuesday!”

Date: April 28, 501 S.A.My Mood Is: buoyant Well, it’s been a few centuries, but I think I have things all worked out. I’ve been living a simple life in the forests of Western Eriador, which is very pleasant as long as I can avoid Iarwain Ben-adar, that annoying little fuckstain. Sorry, sorry. The “new me” doesn’t useContinue reading “#62: Presenting Annatar, Lord of Gifts!”

Date: January 2, 38 S.A.My Mood Is: optimistic Well, I’m definitely feeling better after the complete and abject disaster that was the War of Wrath. The truth is, losing Tol-in-Gaurhoth, Angband, most of my friends and servants, and especially Melkor may have been the best thing that ever happened to me. Of course I didn’t take upContinue reading “#61: It’s a New Age — the Age of Sauron!”

Date: June 17, 590 F.A. (Years of the Sun)My Mood Is: completely humiliated I thought things couldn’t get any worse than they were yesterday. I was wrong. Today I was hovering over the maelstrom where the seas are still rushing into the great chasm that was once Angband. I’ve dropped my physical form and have been manifestingContinue reading “#60: No, THIS Is the Worst Day of My Entire Life!”