Category Archives: Uncategorized

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: sickened Okay, I’m still just totally — what? Disgusted? Sickened? Perplexed? Infuriated? over this whole Melian situation. I mean, I get that we could never be together again — she sided with the Dickless Prick. It’s not like I’m still in loveContinue reading “#39: OMFG, I Found the Freakin’ Men… Except Not”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: dumbfounded She… I mean… WHAAAT????

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: murderous You will not believe what I just found out. I don’t even know where to begin. I — I can’t believe it. Some background: when Oromë (he’s a stupid Earth spirit who imagines himself a great huntsman) “found” the Elves, manyContinue reading “#37: I Will KILL Elu Thingol!”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: vomitous Well, the elves have pretty much left Middle Earth. That’s not to say they all accepted the “invitation” from Valinor — lots of elves stayed behind. The so-called “Eldar,” who have wandered off to grovel at the feet of the ValarContinue reading “#36: The Orcs Are Coming Along Nicely, Thank You”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: disgusted I’ve managed to convert a couple of Elves to my cause, through threats, cajoling, and the terror of my eyes. I don’t get much info from them — it’s hard to get them to come out into the woods to worshipContinue reading “#35: The Elves Are Going To Valinor — Good Riddance!”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: disgusted Everything has turned to shit, and it’s Melkor’s fault. There, I said it. Out loud. This is Melkor’s fault. He led us down here, into this tiny World, and all at once he lost control of it. Now Melkor is aContinue reading “#34: A Strategic Withdrawal”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: resigned As you know, we just spent the last eon preparing for the third and final war against the stinking rebel Valar. Now one would think that with all this preparation, with all our forces rested, equipped and marshaled, with not oneContinue reading “#33: A Minor Setback”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: disgusted I found the Elves! Carcharoth was out in Middle Earth, trying to sniff out Valar spies, when he came across a group of strange creatures hanging out by a lake. He’d eaten several dozen of them before he realized he shouldContinue reading “#32: OMFG! I Found the Freakin’ Elves!”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: vindicated Sorry, it’s been ages (literally) since I last wrote. I’ve been really busy. And I have great news — I got my own fortress! It’s called Angband — it means “The Hells of Iron.” Isn’t that cool? It’s an outlying fortressContinue reading “#31: Seeing Stars”

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time beganMy Mood Is: bored I just got back from sowing the seeds of dissension amongst the Maiar of Valinor. A number of the spirits whom I turned to Melkor’s service before the second war are still willing to serve us, even that moron Curunír. RememberContinue reading “#30: I’m Bored”